I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
