she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
