And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
