Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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