Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She needs sedatives and a leash
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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