Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
