You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
