I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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