I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
