I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize