"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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