Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
