Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
