Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
