I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm both gender and math confused
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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