i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
