I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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