Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
