i permit you to call me
wakey wakey hands off snakey
he wants to bone in the snuggie
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
