so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
