those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
