a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize