Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
