Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
