i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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