What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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