I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
