There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
