So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
