Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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