Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
