I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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