I am puke
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
