I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
