She's JV to your varsity
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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