I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
