He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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