Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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