Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
