meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
