whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
