Sponge bath it is.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
we made out on top of his cat.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
