Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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