Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
