Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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