Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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