I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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