Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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