The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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