I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
