Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
