Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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