he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
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Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
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I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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