My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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