i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
