it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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