Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
