I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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