Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
