i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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