Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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